Paris is always a good idea.

 

Especially if you’re hungry.

So let’s brush up on our French first.

(And then go eat some french fries to calm our hunger pains.)

La Cigale et la Fourmi

La Cigale, ayant chanté
Tout l’été,
Se trouva fort dépourvue
Quand la bise fut venue :
Pas un seul petit morceau
De mouche ou de vermisseau.
Elle alla crier famine
Chez la Fourmi sa voisine,
La priant de lui prêter
Quelque grain pour subsister
Jusqu’à la saison nouvelle.
“Je vous paierai, lui dit-elle,
Avant l’Oût, foi d’animal,
Intérêt et principal. ”
La Fourmi n’est pas prêteuse :
C’est là son moindre défaut.
Que faisiez-vous au temps chaud ?
Dit-elle à cette emprunteuse.
– Nuit et jour à tout venant
Je chantais, ne vous déplaise.
– Vous chantiez ? j’en suis fort aise.
Eh bien! dansez maintenant.

LA FIN

-by Jean de LA FONTAINE   (1621-1695) (hey, like, that’s +300 years ago, you guys!)

Didn’t understand a word?

No problem!

Here. I’ve faithfully translated it for you:

Cindy Cicada and Miss Ant

Cindy Cicada, after having sung
her heart out
all summer long,
found herself
positively famished.
A chilly wind whipped around
the corner of State & Lake,
sending shivers down her spine
and makin’ her tummy go rumbly.

She hopped on the “L“,
boarded the Brown Line,
got off at Irving Park,
plodded the half-mile to her two-flat,
unlocked the door to her Apt. #1C rental,
bee-lined straight for the kitchen,
opened the fridge,
and peered inside.

“I spy with my little eye…..nothing.
Oh, wait! I see something green
in that Mason jar on the bottom shelf.”

Cindy took a sip.
And spit it out real quick.

“Eeeeeeww. YUCK. Gross.

Musta been that green smoothie
I made way back in May
(and musta forgot to finish)
before summer started.”

Quick as a cricket,
she hopped over
to Apt. #1A across the hall.

“Heya, Miss Ant, high five!
Whacha doin’?
Long time no see!
Got a bite for poor lil’ ole me?
I’m staaaaarving!
Got any of those yummy kale chips?
How ’bout some quinoa salad?
No? Nothing? Nada?
OK. Hmmm. Uh.
Could you spare me some dimes then?
I’ll just pop down to the street
to get us some tacos and green tea lattes.
How about it? Say yes!
Pretty please, Miss Ant?
With raw sugar on top?
I’ll pay you back before June.
August at the latest!”
promised Cindy Cicada to Miss Ant,
“Cross my heart, hope to die,
scout’s honor, pinky promise,
and all that jazz, ya know?

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be“,
retorted Miss Ant.

“I’ll even pay you interest!”
countered Cindy.

“I’ve got a question for you, Ms. Cicada.
Just what exactly were you doing
all season long when you’ve been gone?
Weren’t you supposed to be out looking
for a job over summer vacation?”,
Miss Ant interrogated Cindy Cicada.

“Um, ah, I was following my passion,
ya know, Miss Ant!
Ya see, I’ve got a song
inside me and
I’d sing it in the morning,
I’d  sing it in the evening
all over this land,
to every person who’d come my way!”

“You were singing?
Yes. OK. Alright. I see.”
said Miss Ant sternly.
“I am so very happy for you.
Well, then, why don’t you
go and dance?
With the stars?
Just don’t be deluded
into thinking
you’ll be chosen for
America’s Got Talent.”

THE END

List of Characters:

Miss Ant
A financial adviser who regularly shuffles papers 9-to-5 plus overtime and week-ends.
Appears weekly on CNN Special Insect Hour.
During her down time, she is a successful de-clutter lifestyle blogger whose informative articles have been published by the New Yuck Times, Huffingbug Post, and Respidery29.
Wakes up at 4:45 a.m. to tread on her Step Master and write +2000 words in her book before heading out to work.
Favorite foods: Kale chips, mango spinach smoothies, and chocolate caramel sauce.
Biggest Confession?: Devours entire boxes of Dunkin’ Donuts in one sitting when no one is looking.

Cindy Cicada
Multi-passionate entrepreneur who sings acapella
while weaving, felting, and tap dancing.
Crochets golf stick covers in her spare time.
Enthusiastically collects heirloom recipes.
Wears her sponge bob pajamas all day long.
Loves to snuggle with her pug named Unicorn.
Big fan of Barbie’s instagram. 
Favorite foods: Red Hot Chili Pepper Flavored Dark Chocolate Ice Cream.
Oh, and of course, Hulk Pancakes.
Biggest Confession: Spends Sundays
(and most Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays and sometimes Saturday nights)
on pinterest searching #Anthofave.

What a pity these two lovely goddesses have nothing in common.

Or do they?

Let’s see:

Miss Ant thinks Ms. Cicada should act like an adult
once and for all
and get herself a real job.
As for herself, Miss Ant secretly admits
to feeling constantly stressed out
but, hey, “no pain, no gain”
is her motto.
She’s been worried lately
about her blog readership
and is keen to learn the secrets of
doubling her followers on FB, twitter,
Instagram, Linkedin, YouTube, Google+,
and Periscope.
Oh, and especially on her blog.

Cindy Cicada thinks Miss Ant works
at a soul sucking job
and will regret her dull life
on her deathbed.
As for herself, Cindy secretly admits
that her vision boards
and tapping
aren’t exactly
having money appear
miraculously in her bank account.
She feels confused.
She knows she should monetize her voice skills.
But how?
Perhaps she should begin by learning how to
double the followers on
her (*ehem* kinda lame and boring) blog?

How about you?

 

Are you feeling stressed in your 9-to-5 like Miss Ant?

Are you feeling confused like Ms. Cindy Cicada?

Are you hungry for some blogging advice?

 

Do YOU want to double your followers while in Paris?

(Ok, I didn’t really mean Paris. I meant on your blog. Because doesn’t everyone write about Paris on their blog?!)

 

Never fear, April is here!!!

 

“How can that be”,  you ask, “if it’s still  September?”

Answer:

Because April is not a month.

April is a faery-god-mother-good-witch-of-the-east-of-Blacksburg!

And she’s here with some darn good ol’
solid put-it-into-action-straight-away advice.

Amazing April is teaching on CreativeLive
so that Miss Ant, Cindy Cicada, and me (and you, too!)
could learn the secret to to doubling our readership followers.

Huzzah!!!!!!

 

Let the show begin!

Deets on the who/what/where/when/how/& why:

“This post is a part of the Double Your Followers blog tour
to spread the word about April Bowles-Olin’s upcoming CreativeLive course.
Does hearing the word ‘marketing’ make your armpits start to drip with anxiety?
Are you terrified of sounding salesy or like you have the personality of a dead blowfish?
If so, come join me and 2,500+ entrepreneurs who’re taking
April’s latest CreativeLive course, Double Your Followers with Creative Marketing.
You can RSVP and watch for FREE.
Yep, free.
High fives, wildflowers, wine samples.
Who doesn’t love free?”

 

Are you going?
Tell me in the comments below!
So we could pass each other notes during class.

 

Wait, you really want to just double your followers in Paris?

No prob, my beautiful goddess!

Wear these eye-poppin’ fuchsia/bubblegum pants and you’ll really get a following!